September 30, 2009.

today seemed interesting. im super excited, i can finally learn how to play keyboard, i finally got my keyboard today! (= im so excited. anyway. i found out more bad news. wtf right ? bullcrap. im tryin real hard not to let it get to me. but yeah,so afterschool i met Jazlyn! Denisse's best friend. i was like OMG ! haha. then Andy wore some red skinny jeans. CRAZY LOOOKIN. and more drama. -___-.. but yeah. im gettin hungry now. byebye(=

im sick of it..

im sick of listenin to all this bullshit im hearing. listenin everyday to people tellin me what chu think bout me. well today ive decided. I HONESTLY DONT GIVE A FUCK. you can say im crazy. you can say im stupid. you can say i bitch too much or im fucking butthurt. well you wanna kno something ? YOUR OPINION DOESNT MATTER TO ME ANYMORE. im done listening. go tell your bullshit to some other people. im fucking done listenin. im fucking done waiting. im fucking done crying, moping, feeling sad, and im tired of lookin at your sick aass during class waiting for something to happen. im js fucking done. honestly at this point. from all this bull ive heard. i wish EVERYTHING would dissappear. all my feelings, all your feelings. EVERYTHING...

PROBLEMS

oh yes. i got boy problems.

random one.

im hella bored. so i wanna write something. js how i been feeelin the last couple months. lookin at all these couples all around me, feelin their love, seein them together. makes me wonder when im gonna have that again. i miss those night where im on the phone till 6 in the morning or the nights i spend in his arms lookin at the stars. joczielle if you read this, im not doing so good on my promise. its kindof hard to keep it, but ill keep trying. i promise. i like being single, but then again i dont like it. yaaah, yaah, i sound pathetic. i dont need a guy to make me happy. but js cant let go for some weird reason. idk why. when im thinkin i am over it, someone js reminds me. and all the feelings that i thought were gone come rushin back to me at once. ugh. i hate sounding like this, being all depressed and shit. no one ever helps now. barely anyone at least. life for me, is somewhat boring. it needs a change. but how ? i wanna move. i wanna leave. aaaaah, i cant wait for high school. new people. new things. im js lookin for new.

BLAAAAAH.

havent wrote here in helllaaa long. todays gaay. i seriously hate fairfield at this point. i kindof wanna move now. like blahhh. i hate this place. btw, i DONT like you. mhmm, yeah. this was random. k bye. (=

a new beginning.

when i got back to school, i thought it would be easy. easy to look at you and be like "we're js friends". and watch you flirt with other girls. but honestly, i cannot stand it. knowin im not THAT GIRL anymore. i was hoping for a new beginning, new friends, new BOY. but hmm. everything came true, yet im still holding on to the LAST boy. why ? maybe cus i was soo in love. maybe cus i fell for him soo hard. maybe js maybe, i thought he was the one. i wish i could let go. i honestly wish i could. i KNO you like me. but at this point, i wish you didnt. cus it doesnt help me get over you. cus right now, it feels like US can only be friends. but oh well. friends is fun i guess.


i mean we're all still young. no need to fall in love so fast. but ive learned so much from that relationship. things i CANNOT explain. but its good things. things like, trust. commitment. and love. (=

whatever happens. i DO care about you. i DO love you. but maybe, not love you in that way anymore. and if you need me. im here. ALWAYS.