fck.

you KNO you always be sayin shit bout. i dont get my shit mixed up, so dont try to lie. i got my sources. wtf tho. i BEEN outta your life. we BEEN over. so why the hell every fuckin time my name be comin up you gotta say some rude shit. dont call me ugly. dont call me a hoe. dont call me a crazy asian pysco bitch. dont say ANYTHING unless i said some shit first. damn tho. i hella thought i was in love WITHYOU ? wth happened to you tho. whatever. that was what USED TO BE. people change. too bad you change for the bad. damn tho. you KNEW i cried. and you KNEW that hella hurt. yet you have nothin to say to me in person. when i was fuckin STANDING RIGHT THERE. but you gonna text me. wow. whatta pussy. i have nothin to say to you. if ya want me out of your life. FINE. im gone.

whattabeezydoe

soo many thangs are goin through my head. i feel like i gotta fix this. i aint leavin school with bad terms with anyone. expecially you. c'mon now. we aint even aquaintences no more. idgaf about we over. idgaf bout anythin but like how we dont even talk and you hate me. and i didnt even do shit. wtff. i couldve stopped it. i fuckin tried. but guess not eh.? everyone i love is driftin away. everythin is good one moment. the next is fuckin hell. wth tho. i cant stand this shit. rumors. bitches. you dont even get it. try lookin at my perspective. dont even give a fuck bout how i feel. i guess it doesnt matter huh. fuckin shit tho. gay as fuck. i fuckin hate this. one life is perfect. the other isnt. i got shit goin through my head everyday. wonderin wtf can i do to make it rright. but NOTHING can huh. i guess not. im happy, or i think i am. well i am. im js not happy that im hated by the ones i used to love. nobody likes that. not even you. but i dunno. life isnt perfect. i guess i js gotta live withit.

phonecall.

ugh one phone call could change everythin eh ? sucks to have HIM say you guys cant talk to me. even if your HIS blood family and in-laws WHATEVER. you guys are my sisters too. i hella love you guys and for him to say you guys cant talk to me no more is hellla gay. i cant believe i have a codename now. wtff. i dont want you guys sneakin around gettin in trouble and crap. this shit hella sucks. one minute life is PERFECT. nothin is wrong. but everythin is my fault RIGHT KUYA ? huh! i fck up everything ? yeah shure. if you wanna get rid of me ? FINE. js dont take my sisters away from me. cus no matter what you do, i love them. and im pretty damn shure they love me back. and you CANT keep us from talkin with eachother.

footballgame.

hellaa gaaay. man tho. you guys FCKKKKED up my brother. wtff tho. its football. dont be elbowin people and shit. we'll shooot you. and yaaah TRICK. wanna come up behind me and fuckin stare but aint gonna say shit?! TAKE A PICTURE. honey envy me. cus my face isnt all dry like YOURS. you aint no pretty 7th grader like he says. shit. ive seen better. and you. FUCKYOU AND YOUR BULLSHIT. forreal. i dont care if you never talk to me again, go ahead flip me off say fuck you. i dont care. send me hate messages. FUCYOU. get out of my life. this shit pisses me off. ha. once i walk up with a couple friends your trick ass wanna run. shit. pussssyy. haha jasmine made me laugh tho. she is right. i UPPPGRADED to a high school babyy. no downgradin no more. this game was too much. rezen scared the fuck outta me. i droped all my shit. and pushed him back. but he be scarin me too much. pushed me too much. but its coo. today was TOO MUCH. pissed me off.

your a coward.

honestly. i cant stand you at this point. you make me sick to my stomach. dont stop talkin to me js cus i couldnt get over you. now that i got a bf, you wanna talk to me again? thats what i absolutely HATE about you. one day you wanna be my friend. the next your gonna fuckin ignore me. get your fuckin mind straight. IM SICK OF YOU. fuck you and you bullshit. right now. i dont care about you anymore. your js ugh to me. i cant stand your attitude towards the situation. whatever, im happy now. so your gone. out of my mind. BYE.

October 14, 2008<3

today was thee best. i dont have words to explain it. i cant stop smilin. he makes me soo happy(: hehe. nuff said.

changes..

life is turing around. my bestie is single. doesnt mean shes ready to mingle. but shes happy. and im happy for her. today was a weird / cold day. haha. it was suuuuuper windy! lunch was crazy.. my two best guy friends almost fought. that was bad as fckk. and then other stuff. OH ! i was texting him. haha. that pretty much made my day. i think im moving on. slowly, but im getting there. &&im happy. FINALLLY. hehe. Yeaup. soo, this weekend, hmm. idunno what ima doo. maybe stay home again. chill w/ the neighbors. idunno. LIFE IS SOO BORING ! i miss my kim&ashley super much. i havent hung out with them in hella long. OH ! and Kuya Ojoj. hehe. hes a weirdo, but coo. OH ! and tommy. <33 i miss them muchoo. well. idunno what else to say. hehe. ima go practicee my pianoo now. byebyee<333

asdfghjjkl

hmm, meagan and andy got back together. true love i seee. when am i gonna find it ? eh. whatev. my tomagotchi is like growing. :D ! hahahha. life is borin now. no fun at all. well sometimes but still. i dont wanna stay home all day. i been workin on my singin lately. i havent been gettin any better. ehh. but my piano plaayin is getting beeettter(: meagan says ima be one of those asian girls on youtube. heeeheee. hahahahha. man i miss those days when we were all happy. one night me and you had those talks. well i asked questions. you answered. man tho. i miss you. aloot. once you asked that ONE question. that blew me. i thought i was over you. guess not. hmm. i dunno. been soo confused lately. ANYWAY. my partyy was pretty interesting. lots and lots of crazyness. i kindof developed feelings that night. teehee. hahah. but yeaup. ima go practice nooow. byebye(:

ive done some thinking.

its not the breakup that hurt. its the fact that you went out with my cus you felt sorry. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN..

my dream.

wanna kno something crazy ? for some reason. i been dreamin about you. last night. it was like we were in my room. some crazy chick was goin through my shit. lol. you always kno how i have weird dreams. haahaha. so anyway, we were layin in bed. like usual. js talking. and yeah.. then you up and left. with a kiss goodbye, im sorry. and left. js the way you left before. im happy i have those dreams. js because they're my only memories left.. but still it hurts. js to think about it. knowin nothin is left but an empty space of what USED to be.. hm, i try to get over it. cus theres no reason to hold on, when nothing is pullin you back. i fell for you. you caught me. then you dropped me again. now all i can do, is wait for time too heal all the wounds. i hate typin this crap all the time. lovey dovey and shit. but right now, its my ONLY problem. seems like centuries ago i had no problem. didnt need to write any shit on here. feelin pathetic right now. but i terribly miss you. you prolly dont read this shit anyway. you prolly dont care at all. so why am i takin the time to write this. iono. maybe cus i cant talk to nobody. AND NO IM NOT A LONER. haha. hm. i dunno what i be feelin these days. one minute im tired of mooping. im tired of crying. im OVER it. the next minute, i see you. and BAM. everything comes back. iono how to explain it. maybe ive fallen head over heels for you.. crazy, it is.. but i js cant stop.

October 2, 2008.

boring boring boring asss shittt. lunch was fuckin bad mann. she DIDNT deserve it. if ya loved her, dont treat her like crap. the isnt a peice of shit. shes somethin you fucking cherish damn it. anyway, after school me and meagan sortof yelled at ralph. hehe. i got my feelings out. kindof sorta. during 5th period i fasho got my emotions out. i had them in too long. its time i had cried about it. but im good now. YAAAY ! we won at the football game. brandon came to surprise me, but too bad i wasnt there. lol. so he flirted with some other girls. YES YOU DID BRANDON ! hahaha. yeah. so this is ending. byebye(: